The past few posts have been pretty heavy. Or maybe that’s a matter of taste. Some might claim that the only light post on this blog so far was the horror movie guide last Halloween. And anyone making that claim wouldn’t be totally incorrect.
Either way, I owe you a “light” post, and my idea of light is Wife Swap, an ABC reality show which I found through its syndicated version on Lifetime. At this point a large percentage of readers will probably be laughing out loud and/or navigating away from this blog. Please stay with me! I’m not crazy (and I don’t normally watch Lifetime — it was at a holiday get-together with family). This show must be discussed.
I had no idea that the show was first broadcast in the UK in 2003 and has existed in various incarnations since, both there and in America. To me it appeared to be the reason that reality shows were invented. The premise: two families with multiple opposing characteristics, habits, and beliefs trade wives for two weeks. During the first week, the guest wife has to conform to the lifestyle of the host family. Then in the second week, the wife gets to run the show. She creates new rules or guidelines based on what she feels would benefit the host family. It’s chaotic, painful, and hilarious.
I’ll break down the first episode that grabbed me. One family has about five kids who have to do many chores per day. The father doesn’t do any chores himself, whereas his wife does the work of three people, driving the kids around and running the house. And the 16-year-old daughter isn’t supposed to talk to the father after 9 pm because she’s “too emotional.” The second family only has one teenage daughter. The two bedrooms are lofts with no walls or doors, so there’s no privacy in the home. The father is at the beckon call of both wife and daughter, and does all the cleaning and laundry. And the wife is obsessed with her pets — 3 or 4 dogs and one goat — all of which are welcome throughout the house at all times. The goat even comes in her bed!
The reason I think this is the epitome of all reality shows is because, from the very start of that genre, the shows have presented anything but reality. They are usually some kind of competition, filmed in a way that makes it look more like a live show — i.e. like real life. But in Wife Swap, it doesn’t matter how they film it, or even if parts of it are scripted or “encouraged” by the producers (and I’m sure that does happen). What does matter is that the participants’ lives—especially the parents’ egos—are completely torn apart. They are forced to examine their weaknesses and how they are negatively affecting the people around them.
The possibilities are manifold. Fathers make their sons turn baseball into a religion, thus taking the fun out of it while making competition a lifestyle. A mother lets her daughter treat the father like a slave, because neither parent is brave enough to stand up to their one “baby girl” and make her grow up. Both parents let their three adolescent boys behave like depraved lunatics because they don’t want to stifle their creativity by imposing too many boundaries.
Naturally, it’s often highly rewarding when the guest wife gets to set the rules. In the “goat” episode, the animals get locked outside and the house stays clean for once. The teenage daughter gets a bedroom with walls, does her own laundry, applies for a part-time job—and smiles for the first time in the show. Back at the house-of-chores, each of the five kids get to pick out a small animal at the pet store, and the 16-year-old daughter is allowed to communicate with her father after 9 pm.
As for my other examples…the baseball boy gets to take guitar lessons, and his instructor refers to him as a natural talent at the instrument. The three adolescent boys—well, their lunacy pretty much stays the same, but their crack-pot science project-loving father stops setting such a bad example for his sons.
Once again, the point is that they have to examine themselves to better the situation for everyone involved. And if that becomes a norm in society, we’ll all be better off…even if the inspiration did come from a trashy TV show. However, since most people will never participate in a wife swap, we are introduced to a bigger issue. What the show really exposes is how the institution of marriage creates a static environment for bad traits, habits, and beliefs to flourish. This builds from the individual family to the whole of society, and explains why America is so sick and deranged.
Everyone—from OCD clean to farm animal messy; from commanding to easy-going; from muscians to sports fanatics; from high school-educated to advanced degree-awarded; from liberal to conservative; from north to south; from urban to rural—everyone needs to reevaluate their lives. Not once, but at regular intervals. It’s chaotic, painful, hilarious, and absolutely necessary for mankind to progress. And that’s why Wife Swap deserved discussion.
Here’s the first part of the “CA Elite vs. MS Redneck” episode (see “related videos” for parts 2-5).
